Hey, I just love your blog! I have a topic request for you. I work in an office where we have to dress professionally. There are about 10 females in the office where I work, and we all usually wear heels. Often, for comfort reasons, my coworkers will change into flats once they're at their desks & run around the office in them. But when they do stay in their heels, they CLOMP when they walk. I don't know if they just don't care,if they truly don't know how to walk in them, or WHAT, but their elephantine gaits make me shudder!
I think they just walk too fast, & they lean too far forward. They kind of charge ahead like steam engines, with all their weight forward. Maybe they’re just focused on striding in a purposeful way to be taken seriously? But the noise they make is a definite clomp. And it doesn't seem to make a difference whether the heels are more than 4 inches or 2 inches, or if they are little spikes or a thicker variety--the offence remains the same! My coworkers are very nice young women, not elephants, but you would never guess if you were going just by the sound of their walk. We are walking on carpet, so we shouldn't be making any noise at all!
All of this clomping has made me hyper-conscious about how I walk in heels. I would love a primer from you!
Dear Ms. Tip-Toe,
I feel your pain. Heels should click not clomp. Clicking is glamorous. Clicking is sexy and powerful. Clomping lacks grace. And when walking on a carpet, any Everyday Glamour Chick, (E.G.C.), worth her salt can walk in absolute silence, like a monk.
And here’s why: Time is money. Therefore, slowing down is a luxury, is it not? Walking slowly is a sign of status. Worker bees rush. Some women like to say, “I’m in a hurry!” and “I’m just soooo busy these days!”, in a vain effort to look powerful. They do it for the effect. It gives them a sense of control. “I’m in a hurry!", translates to: “I only have time to talk when it serves my own vanity needs.”
I repeat: Walking slowly is a sign of status. The first rule when walking glamorously in heels is to slow down. Then click, don’t clomp! And when walking on carpet in the office, walk slowly up to your boss. If she is startled by your arrival because she could not hear you coming, then congratulations my stealthy little E.G.C.! This is power! You will be getting the corner office soon!
Glamour goes beyond pretty. We must slow down. We must click, or walk in silence. We must startle our boss with our stealth. And we must have attractive posture. We must stand tall! Contrary to popular belief, leaning forward and bulldozing your way through the office does not project urgency nor grand importance. Bulldozing makes you look like a clumsy, worker bee. We must relax our face, and relax our shoulders. To elongate your neck, imagine a string is pulling your head up. Or, if you would prefer, you can be like Paris Hilton and imagine you are wearing a tiara. Whatever works, princess.
Another way to project your power in heels is to make a decision and stick with it. To wear heels today, or not to wear heels today? That is the question. If you wear heels then you must go all the way with it. Yeah, baby, oh ah! Switching shoes is a sign of weakness. Find shoes that fit properly. Have your high heels cut down if that helps, or for gosh’s sakes, go ahead and wear flats. But go all the way with it.
And finally, remember that glamour is not only about work and sneaking up to your boss, and being like a monk, and wearing imaginary tiaras. It is so much more than that--like I said before and it bears repeating: Glamour goes beyond pretty. Glamour is about having fun! When E.G.C.’s go out on the town, they may do the “Walk of Shame”, but they never, ever do the “Walk of Pain”. During or after an evening of debauchery, an E.G.C. is permitted tousled hair and smudged eye liner, a la Chrissy Hynde, but she never winces. Or minces. Or hobbles. Or cries. Big girls don’t cry anyway.
Keep it E.G.C.!