How to Shop a Glamorous Sample Sale

There are good sample sales and there are glamorous sample sales and Everyday Glamour Chicks, (E.G.C.’s),  know the difference.  E.G.C.’s only concern themselves with the cream of the crop, glamorous sample sales. 

Confessions of a Shopaholic film photo courtesy of www.emol.org

The first step is to be in the know.  You must know where the glamorous sample sales are if you are to be a real E.G.C.  Forget subscribing to those exasperating online sample sale sites that email you every two seconds about discounted designer duds.  Online sample sales are not glamorous--they are a fruitless race against time.  You will surely get sucked into an online shopping vortex and you can be certain that what you do manage to buy will not fit.  To know where the glamorous sample sales are, it is best to know someone who works in the fashion business.  About once a year she will mention to you in passing, “Oh yeah, and we’re having a sample sale tomorrow.” 

The most glamorous sample sales always occur exactly one day before you get your next paycheck.  Ask your fashion insider friend what the prices will be like.  A good indication that the sample sale is a glamorous one is if she responds, “The stuff will be marked anywhere between $30 and $3000.  There should be some good deals.”

Glamorous sample sales are always located downtown, not in SoHo, and not quite in Tribeca.  It will be located in urban nowhere land and your fashion insider friend will be sure to give you shitty directions. 

On your way over to the sample sale location, you will encounter empty, quiet, creepy, abandoned downtown streets.  It is recommended that you stop and ask one of the Fed Ex delivery guys standing by his truck which way to go.  If he says, “Turn around!”, and you have been walking 5 minutes in the wrong direction in the blazing sun, this is a good sign.  The more remote the location, the better the goodies!!

Confessions of a Shopaholic movie photo courtesy of www.latica-gringa.blogspot.com

Arrive at the sample sale location, sweaty and disheveled.  If it is located on a back street with zero traffic, you are definitely going to enjoy a very glamorous time!  You will be sure that you have arrived at the correct location as you will spot a piece of printer paper stuck to the wall that will say, “Sample Sale”, with an arrow pointing to an old, dilapidated metal door.  Push it, push it hard, it’s heavy.  Enter a dark, abandoned staircase.  Climb a very steep four flights with no light.

Panting at the top, you will see the light.  Hallelujah.  Walk in.  A glamorous sample sale feels like you are in the movie the Wizard of Oz—everything starts out all boring black and white and then all of a sudden you find yourself in the wonderful Technicolor land of Oz, with cute munchkins called sample sale workers who smile at you as you walk through the door.

Always head for the shoes first.  Walk smoothly.  Keep it civilized.  You will note that the black leather strappy heels with discreet rhinestone trim is marked down to $725.  Oh.  Not in the $30 range.  Huh.

Ok, now for the clothing.  Go to the racks and work your way all around the room, checking prices as you go, and grab up anything that is $99 and under.  Here is a typical handful of clothing that you will encounter at a glamorous sample sale:  two cargo pants, (an olive green and a navy), 3 cool-girl sweatshirts in varying shades of grey, a white silk Chanel-reminiscent blouse with black trim and bow, a cream and navy horizontally striped cashmere hoodie, a classic, round-necked deep purple cashmere sweater with vintage button shoulder detail, and a short, swingy denim skirt.

Keep repeating, “Where’s the fitting room?  Where’s the fitting room?  Excuse me, where’s the fitting room?”  A couple of downtown hipster fashionistas will stare blankly at you.  One of them will wake up from her trance enough to blithely point to a lone fitting box, (yes, a makeshift box made from white partitions), in the center of the room.  Note the very long line.  At this point your heart will sink but do not despair.  Remember that you know someone who works there.  She will personally escort you to the secret bathroom in the back!  It will have a garment rack placed conveniently inside!  Never mind that the mirror in the bathroom is so small that you can hardly make out half of your face.  There are ways around this.

Try on the white silk Chanel-reminiscent blouse with black trim and bow.  Walk outside.  Ask the sample sale workers, “Is it cute?”  Watch them nod politely.  Walk farther out to the front to see yourself in the full length mirror.  Note the lady who eyes you and your blouse lasciviously.  She wants the blouse.  She wants it bad.  You can cut the tension with a knife.  This is a very good sign!

Go back to the secret bathroom and try on the olive cargo pants.  They will surely fall off you.  Olive cargo pants at sample sales are always huge.  Pull on the navy blue cargo pants.  Oh, can’t pull them over your thighs?  I forgot to mention.  Navy blue cargo pants at sample sales are always miniscule.

Slip on the purple cashmere sweater with vintage button shoulder detail.  It’s so warm.  Oh my god, it’s downright HOT!  That is some good quality cashmere!  Run out to the front again to check yourself out.  Yes!  It’s a definite keeper.

Finally, slip on the cream and navy horizontally striped cashmere hoodie.  Run out front and once you find your place in front of the full length mirror, be sure to swivel back and forth to admire yourself from all possible angles while squealing, “Cuuuuuuuuute!”  See the lascivious lady watch you again.  She is eyeing your striped hoodie.  She is lusting after it.

Decide to forgo trying on the cool-girl sweatshirts in varying shades of grey.  Instead, go out and place everything you definitely do not want neatly back on the racks.  See the lascivious lady eye you and your stash.  She wants to pounce.

Approach the register with three items that you are considering.  They will most likely be variations on these three garments:  a white silk Chanel-reminiscent blouse with black trim and bow, a purple cashmere sweater with vintage button shoulder detail, and a cream and navy horizontally striped cashmere hoodie.  Tell the cashier that you are definitely getting the purple sweater, but you need her help choosing between Chanel-reminiscent blouse and the striped cashmere hoodie. 

Confessions of a Shopaholic movie photo courtesy of www.flickdirect.com

If the cashier is wearing something striking, like say, a black pencil skirt and a Prince of Wales exaggerated shoulder top that appears to be something that Lady Gaga would wear in the music video, Telephone, then you should trust her advise.  She will tell you, “I think the hoodie is something that you will wear more often because it’s casual.  The blouse is dressy, so it’s a higher cost per wear.”  Ok, Gaga.  You are so practical.  You are so right.

Pay for the purple sweater and the horizontally striped hoodie.  Watch the lascivious lady greedily pick up the Chanel-reminiscent blouse that you passed on.  Shout, “That’s on hold!  That’s on hold!!”  Give the lascivious lady a glare.  Pay for Chanel-reminiscent blouse. 

Let the cashier put your stash into a plain brown paper bag.  Click your ruby slippers three times and say, “There’s no place like home.  There’s no place like home.  There’s no place like home.”  Descend the four flights of steep stairs with no light.  Push the heavy metal door.  Walk out into the blazing sun, into the quiet downtown back street of urban nowhere land.  When you pass the Fed Ex delivery guy, smile, wave, and say “Thanks!"

Everyday Glamour Makeup Guide

Becca Cosmetics photo courtesy of www.keenanevans.wordpress.com

I went 11 days without wearing a stitch of makeup.  I went completely bare-faced for 11 days!  This is no small feat for me, since I have what I like to call a “makeup face”.  My face likes makeup.  My face absorbs it, processes it, loves it, really.  Some women don’t have makeup faces.  For them, makeup does not do much to change their features, but instead sits there wondering what it’s doing.  

My makeup hiatus was brought about by the flu.  It came about furiously despite my having had a flu shot, which proves that those things do not work.  It was the kind of sick that makes you think more deeply about what is truly important.  I came up with 1.  Health, 2. Family, and 3. Friends, in that order.  The rest is gravy, really.  Toward the end of the 11 days, I felt well enough to look in the mirror.

When I looked, there was no leftover mascara, and no trace of remnant eye liner to help me out a bit. There was no curl left in my puny lashes, which stuck straight down.  I decided that without makeup, I was Stella McCartney meets the late Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy.  We all have our delusions.  Why not be proactive about them and develop positive delusions?

My husband looked at me and said, “Sometimes I want to see you without makeup.”  I didn't realize that our cozy makeup-free time was so lacking.  “Am I pretty?”, I asked.  Yeah, I went there.  “Yes!”, my husband replied, a concerned crinkle forming between his eyebrows, “Of course.”  Of course.  He added, “But it’s not always about pretty.”   

The people who love you want to see you without makeup sometimes.  Which explains why when my dad visits, invariably, the camera comes out as soon as I lounge around sans makeup.  It’s a given.  No makeup equals the emergence of Paparazzo Dad.   It’s not always about pretty. 

On the 12^th day I felt good enough to go back to work.  On the 12^th day I put on some makeup.  I prefer it.  I do it for me.  But I do appreciate that the people who love me sometimes want to see me without makeup.  And so I will occasionally oblige.

 Becca cosmetics photo, courtesy of www.beccacosmetics.com

And with that, I give you the Everyday Glamour Makeup Guide!

1.  Dior, Extase mascara.  The best mascara on the planet!  It plumps up the puniest of lashes.  I get mine in brown.

2.  Eliza Eyes eyebrow pencil.  The best.  Most women need to get the “blond” color, trust me.

3.  Dior eye shadow.  It has just the right amount of pigment.  It goes on light but stays put all day.

4.  Laura Mercier powder liner.  You put it on using an angled eye liner brush.  Then you angle the brush sideways to blend it.  Genius!!  If you try only one thing on this list, try the powder liner smudged with an angled brush!

5.  Becca Luminous Skin Color.  This is a fancy term for tinted moisturizer.  It contains no mineral oil and looks completely and utterly natural.  I mix mine with Shimmering Skin Perfector, which is a fancy term for shimmering moisterizer.  And because I’m a makeup nit-picker, I put it on with Makeup Brush #34.  Best concealer:  Becca Stick foundation.  Best powder:  Fine loose finishing powder. 

6.  Best blush and lipstick:  Chantelcaille. 

What is your favorite makeup?

The Archetypes: Part II

Photo of Blake Lively shopping at Chanel, courtesy of www.firstclassfashionista.com

Poor ol’ Carl Jung is rolling over in his grave again. The first time around, Everyday Glamour had boldly unveiled the 8 Salesperson Archetypes, which helped readers identify,analyze, and successfully cope with the strange and often bewildering behaviors of salespeople encountered amongst Manhattan’s luxury fashion scene.  And now Everyday Glamour has done it again with a riveting sequel:  Stay tuned to learn all about the 8 Fashionista Archetypes, in order to avoid typical shopping pitfalls and black holes.  Recognize the dominant Fashionista Archetype deeply embedded onto your own Collective Unconscious Mind, then read the treatment plan, baby! 

Disclaimer:  This advise does not replace professional psychoanalytic treatment or counseling.  Get a grip.  This is a fashion blog. 

Photo of Kim Kardashian, credit Chris Jackson/Getty Images, courtesy of www.newyork.cbslocal.com

The 8 Fashionista Archetypes:

 1.  Lauryn Fashionista, (AKA, The Child)

Lauryn is a naturally pretty, carefree fashionista with curves for days who hails from Bed-Stuy Brooklyn, the historic district.  She loves to take pictures and carries her fancy Nikon camera with a titanium lens around her neck always.  She has a Pomeranian named Ray Ray. On the weekends you will find her riding on the back of her boyfriend’s motorcycle, even in the rain.  Creative and adventurous, Lauryn loves the thrill of finding something completely new and unique.  She shops without a plan, usually for vintage.  She goes with the flow.  Clothing purchases are made according to how much positive vibration she feels from the garment in question.  Treatment Plan:  If you identify with Lauryn, then you probably have an attractive wardrobe, except that it is excessive and you are running out of room for all of your treasures.  Also, you may have the odd feeling, (or vibration), that despite all your treasures, you are never quite pulled together.  For you, the treatment plan is easy.  Pull together a Core Wardrobe, write a list, and stick with the list for a spell.

Photo of Whitney Port shopping, courtesy of www.contactanycelebrity.com

2.  Sally Fashionista, (AKA, The Heroine)

Sally is cute and sweet.  She has flat hair but that’s ok, she has accepted it.  Afflicted with the eyes-are-bigger-than-her-wallet syndrome, she rarely shops, but instead puts pictures of $2600 Rick Owen’s leather jackets and $1700 Alaia lace-up stilettos up on her Pinterest.   She makes do with the clothing her mother sends her in care-packages, usually bought at TJ Maxx.  Sally hits the jackpot big-time when her mom sends her something from Max Studio—usually Sally can exchange it for something perfect.  Sally has a couple of gaps in her wardrobe and is pathetically shoe-deficient.  Treatment Plan:  If you identify with Sally, then perfectionism is keeping you from having a beautiful wardrobe.  Consider that your leather jacket need not be a Rick Owens for you to look and feel great, and that, while beautiful, $1700 Alaia lace-up stilettos may not be congruent with your lifestyle anyway.  Use the Bottom’s Up Shopping technique, and you will no longer need to win the lottery in order to express your true style.

3.  Edith Fashionista, (AKA, The Mother)

Edith was very much like Lauryn Fashionista, (AKA, The Child), in her youth, except that Edith would never ride on the back of some guy’s motorcycle, even if he was really hot, because that is way too dangerous.  Edith has matured into a very cute and lively lady who wears cropped pants with elastic waist bands, tunic tops that have slits up both sides, and sandals with Velcro closures.  In the winter she pairs the sandals with whimsically printed socks.  Sometimes she wears Doc Martin’s.  Edith rarely shops for herself but compulsively shops for other people.  She loves the thrill of a deal.  When Edith gives a gift, she always tells the recipient the full retail value of the item as she hands it over.   She will tell the recipient “the story of the dress”.  She got it at TJ Maxx.  It was the last one.  Look at the label—it’s a Catherine Malandrino.  Such a deal.  Treatment Plan:  If you most identify with Edith, then know that you are adorable and delightful and everyone loves and appreciates your generosity, and is impressed with your shopping savvy.  Perhaps turn this skill occasionally toward your own wardrobe, not simply of others, and you never know, you may one day tell “the story of the dress” and it will be about your own dress, not someone else's.

4.  Collette Fashionista, (AKA, The Sage)

Collette is a long-haired brunette with full lips and a piercing, intelligent gaze.  She was born in London and was raised in Paris.  On rainy days she likes to sit in the window banquette and read books like Madame Bovary.  Although she shops twice a year without fail, once every Spring, and once every Fall, her wardrobe is very small.  She saves up for high quality, under-the-radar clothes, like the ones you might find at Acne and  L'Agence.  Collette always looks modern, sexy, and her clothes always reflect the essence of who she is.  Men fall in love with her instantly.  Treatment plan:  If you identify with Collette, then keep doing what you are doing and maybe one day you will become like Marlene Fashionista, (AKA, The Mentor)….see below for details.

5.  Tara Fashionista, (AKA, The Trickster)

Tara is tall with long legs, a full bust, a tiny waist, and a perky little ass.  She is gregarious and has a sexy, raspy voice, which she frequently lubricates with evening libations at Double Seven in the Meatpacking District.  She wears a lot of H&M but tells people, “it’s vintage”.  Sometimes the H&M price tags accidentally stick out.  Tara does not understand why the manager at H&M rolls her eyes every time Tara makes a merchandise exchange.  I mean she’s got the tags and the receipt and she always complies with the 7 day return policy.  Tara thinks the manager at  H&M is such a bitch.  Treatment Plan:  If you identify with Tara, then you look great but may I remind you that disposable fashion is bad for the environment. No, exchanging merchandise does not count as recycling, honey.  Besides, you can vary your wardrobe with only a few key pieces.  Why not consider building a Core Wardrobe?  If you want to do it quickly, by building on some of your H&M purchases, then read 6 Week Update.

Photo of Paris Hilton, courtesy of www.rounk.com

6.  Mindy Fashionista, (AKA, The Devil)

In high school, Mindy was a cheerleader and her boyfriend was the hunky quarterback.  It takes Mindy a good 20 minutes to put her blond hair up into the perfect ponytail.  Mindy has an aversion to accessories, except for the Tiffany’s Elsa Perretti heart necklace, but she only likes the sterling silver one, not the gold.  She loves to wear twin-sets in pastel colors.  Mindy accompanies her friends on shopping excursions and reminds them that a-line skirts are wonderful because they “hide a multitude of sins”.   Treatment Plan:  If you  identify with Mindy, then you know full well that preying on your friends’ insecurities and encouraging them to hide their beautiful round hips in an a-line skirt is pure evil.  Your friends would have so much more fun wearing a black leather pencil skirt.  I know it, and you know it.  Your treatment is to find a passion and pursue it.  That should quell your jealousy.

7.  Alicia Fashionista, (AKA, The Scarecrow)

Alicia is cool.  She knows what’s up.  Alicia has a perfectly straight bob which is achieved every morning with a the help of a flat-iron and a little Kiehl’s Straightening Crème.  She knows that Tom Ford makes the best  orange lipstick this season, called “Wild Ginger”.  She knows where to get the best skinny jeans, (Rag & Bone),  and she has the Proenza Schouler PS1 messenger bag in yellow.  Women want to emulate her.  Men are afraid of her.  Treatment Plan:  If you identify with Alicia, then you have a vast, overflowing wardrobe and yes, you are damn proud of it, too.  Perhaps occasionally, your clothes are wearing you.  I'm only suggesting you make a couple of changes.  Edit your closet, keep the pieces that work best for your figure and identity, and donate the rest.

8.  Marlene Fashionista, (AKA, The Mentor)

Marlene was very much like Collette Fashionista, (AKA, The Sage), in her youth, except that Marlene has always had a larger wardrobe than Collette, but you would never know it because everything is neatly stowed away in custom cabinets.  Marlene stays slim by practicing regular pilates and by dining on red meat and arugula salads.  She loves her vodka but only drinks a little bit.  She shops very rarely, maybe once a year for one outrageously expensive designer piece.  She loves to stick with a tight rotation of few stand out designer pieces that look incredible on her and she has no problem wearing the same pair of Alaia lace up stilettos with every outfit.  Her look is sexy without being vulgar, but she does appreciate that vulgarity in small doses can be chic, especially in the evening.  She is very comfortable in her own skin.  Treatment Plan:  If you identify with Marlene, then do not change one bit.  Everyday Glamour Chicks, (E.G.C.’s), want to be just like you.

Fashion Zen

Photo by Ellen von Unwerth, Vogue Nippon, courtesy of www.ridingpretty.blogspot.com

Fashion Zen occurs when Art and Science collide to provide the perfect breeding ground for serendipity to fulfill your wardrobe desires!

The Science of Wardrobe Planning

Get clear on what looks good on you by editing your wardrobe.  Yes, I sound like a broken record but it's so true:  Editing what you already own gives you a clue as to the shapes, styles, colors, and fabrics that work best for you.  See the right hand side bar?  I’m giving out the Everyday Glamour Wardrobe Edit Workbook for free.  Key word: FREE! 

Then use the Core Wardrobe technique to narrow down with laser beam precision what item or items you most need or want to shop for now to get the most bang for your buck.

Editing your wardrobe and the Core wardrobe technique represent the Science part of your shopping equation.  No, it’s not beakers, bunsen burners, and control groups, smarty pants, but you get the idea—this is the clinical observational stage with a mixture of hard-boiled psychology.  Step away!  Step away from the Prozac!  I can help!

Photo by Ellen von Unwerth for Lula Mag, courtesy of www.thecoollist.com

The Art of Wardrobe Planning

Once clear on what you need or want, the Science part, you must relax and be open to finding the sometimes unexpected but perfect answer to your sartorial question.  In effect, you must allow serendipity to step in.  This is called Fashion Zen.  Did you just hear the clear ring of a bell?  Ting!

Relax your ardent choke hold on what you think you must have.  For example, if you are looking for the perfect shirt dress to pack for a summer Mediterranean getaway, it is best to understand your individual basic requirements but not to narrow down every last detail.  Individual requirements could be that the shirt dress be a simple, classic design that emphasizes your waist.  But there is no need to specify the details of the dress too closely, like that it needs to be a specific shade of tangerine, or that it must under all circumstances be a wrap style shirt dress.

Photo of Rose McGowan by Ellen von Unwerth, courtesy of www.sequingown.wordpress.com

Mindful Shopping

You can hit the stores now.  Avoid online shopping as much as possible.  Online shopping should only be used as a last resort, perhaps because you live in a remote area and have a hard time traveling to acceptable stores.  Fashion Zen requires that you try on a lot of stuff and be open to the unexpected--two things that are monumentally more difficult to achieve online.  Results are always better when you hit the brick and mortar.

Remember, my Everyday Glamour Chicks, (E.G.C.'s):  

Prepare.  Relax.  Stay open.  Be happy.  Smile and breathe.

Navigate the Trends

 Jo No Fui, Spring 2012 RTW photo courtesy of www.Elle.com

And it goes a little something like this...hit it!!

You buy into the season’s must have trends.

You buy more clothes to make the outfits complete.

But soon your trendy clothes go out of fashion.

So you buy into the new and improved must have trends.

You buy even more clothes to make the new outfits complete.

And wouldn’t you know...your trendy clothes go out of fashion.

Dolls, you have entered the Trend Cycle of Doom, (T.C.D.) and it ain't pretty.  Symptoms of those afflicted with T.C.D. include: shopping on lunch break, using a minimum of three credit cards per purchase, getting drunk off of free Trunk Show Proscecco, and bragging about stashing Manolos in the kitchen cupboards.  Someone hand me a bon-bon, I’m getting stressed out just thinking about it.

Everyday Glamour Chicks, (E.G.C.’s), have a kinder, gentler, more cost-effective and space saving method to looking fresh, modern, and sexy. They wisely bypass T.C.D. completely and instead update their wardrobes bit by bit, focusing on finding extraordinary basics, otherwise known as classics with a twist.  That way they can keep it fresh until their clothes are in tatters.  Basics may be boring but extraordinary basics have personality and zing.  

 Jo No Fui, Spring 2012 RTW photo courtesy of www.Elle.com

Everyday Glamour Guide to Finding Extraordinary Basics, A.K.A. Classics With a Twist:

1. Start with your foundation—The Core Wardrobe.  Go ahead and click on the link for a refresher on this one.  Figure out how you would like to restyle your core wardrobe.
2. Edit, Edit, Edit!  The mantra is: “Less is more”, so get rid of all that stuff that is no longer fitting your image.  Let it go, release it, to let in the new.  Anyway, editing your wardrobe every 6 months is the best way to learn what shapes, colors, patterns, and styles work beautifully on YOU, not Barbie, but YOU.  And you will also be reminded of what works for your REAL life, not that fantasy life in which you are the lead actress in the film, The Secretary. 
3. When shopping designer, don’t go for what is shown in all the magazines.  Do shop the “bread and butter” basics built into the collection.  These are the extraordinary basics.

 Jo No Fui, Spring 2012 RTW photo courtesy of www.Elle.com

And with that, I leave you with some E.G.C. favorites:

L’Agence:   Basic with a young, downtown vibe.

Kal Rieman:  Sharp and tailored.

3.1  Philip Lim:  Clean lines, luxurious fabrics, staples with personality.

Equipment:  Blouses that don’t stop.

Jo No Fui:  Relaxed and pretty.

Theyskens’ Theory:  Unexpected design elements that work into the wardrobe with grace.